Let’s Start from the Ending

So there I was at a spot called Blues in Blantyre, determined I wasn’t going to let myself wallow or get slowed down because of this breakup. I was going to keep moving and keep living. It’s been like three weeks since me and my girlfriend of three years broke up. Well girlfriend of two and a half years perhaps, that last six months was a weird on again off again thing, but I consider the entire saga three years. I knock back one or two shots, I am not much of a drinker actually, but since I lost Elube to her secrets and her alcoholic ways I resolve in myself I will drink and indulge for three months straight until I figure out what it is about booze that has so much power over some people and what it is about booze that some of these girls love so much. So here we go.

I stand at the bar with some friends in a semicircle facing the entrance, as I spot this pretty little thing staggering in the arms of some short light chaperone of a dude. They come and join our circle momentarily as the guy seems to know some people. I size her up, she sees me sizing her up and she looks back at me. We hold a stare and I am like snap I think this girl is feeling my vibe. They leave the circle shortly thereafter and sit at one of the square shaped couches opposite the bar on your way to the loo. I keep a mental note of her whereabouts in case I feel like making a move later. I have a very simple goal at this point, I need to start stacking up on phone numbers as my faithful ass wasn’t collecting any numbers during the entire three-year period that I was in this relationship. So if I can walk away with this girl’s number or two I am good for the night.

A few hours of mingling and dancing pass, I am feeling delighted with myself because, I have been able to deal with this leg of the breakup marathon better than I thought I would. That aside, its early in the morning now I should head home or to another spot before this joint dries up. This whole time I hadn’t seen this mysterious senorita and her short light skinned accessory. I go inside the bar to say goodbye to a few people and Bam! My surveying eyes are caught by a smooth caramel face with sharp features. My heart pumps with excitement, it’s her. I say to myself this is it, it’s now or never. They say if you wait for the perfect time to sow you will never sow anything, which maybe explains why I have never been in a relationship for as long as my recent one because, I am so particular when it comes to attraction. Anyways, I had been going out more regularly now since being with Elube, but I don’t believe I had seen anyone that looks close to this girl in a while. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t looking, maybe its because I was happy with what I had. None the less I head in her direction, dude is ordering a drink, she is sitting down with some shady chick I know from around the way, I have my window.


It’s been a week since me and Ms. Caramel have been talking and I am in her hood for a surprise visit. She is escorting her best friend, some skinny, very friendly looking gentleman and we agree she will meet me along the road to Fargo in Chilomoni. I park my vehicle by the side of the road and wait for her to show up. After a benign twenty minutes or so, I see her emerging over the horizon dressed in some black jeans and a red crop top, in the midst of an animated conversation with her bestie. I am no stranger to male best friends, my ex girl had a male best friend and one of my best friends is a girl called Tsholo from South Africa. When the best friends are really just best friends you can tell, they have a strong sibling vibe. However, when they are not and are just masquerading as such, there is usually a weird vibe whenever you are in the equation. Having a bestie from the other sex is great fun actually it must be said, especially in as far as trading insights into human nature. Anyways I digress, she says goodbye to him as he proceeds further along the path and she skips towards me and gives me a hug. She looks nice, she smells nice, she feels soft, confident and full of life. There is a bit of awkwardness, but not too much. I like this, it’s been a while. This is fun.

Just as fast as we met, an hour later we are going through a bottle of Malawi Gin, mixing it with cola in red cups I keep in my car for outings. This girl is wild, she is a good time. At this point in my life I guess we don’t ask, how old are you or is there a boyfriend? Because, you may a) not wanna know or b) you are going to get lied to. So the strategy is to find out what you need to know in due course, whether directly from her, from various clues or from third parties if necessary. Anyways, in between her opening my car door so she can pee outside and it becoming nighttime, we end up skating in each other’s mouths on the back seat. Her smooch game is on point, she is portable and light, fits snuggly around me like an inflatable hoop. We stare at each other and laugh completely washed in the blue kiss of a bright moon out tonight. Strange, this is a first date and we have already done so much, we decide its best we keep our clothes on. I catch my own reflection in the rear view mirror and am reminded that I am still an injured player. This whole scenario starts bringing my ex to mind because, she was always down for shenanigans in the car. Speak of the devil, Ms. Caramel asks rather suddenly, “are you married?” I laugh. I am delighted. Ok at least she is the type to ask. “No,” I respond, “why would I be out here if I was married Lol… but I recently just broke up with someone actually.”

“Really? Me too like two weeks ago!”

“You lie.” I comment.

She asks me what my ex-girlfriend’s name is and I respond with, “I doubt you would know her, but you never know.” Then proceed to show her a picture on my phone. She immediately goes, “Oh snap, I know this girl. Her name is…” and then we say it at the same time “Elube!” Hmmm, how about that, how small is Blantyre? Ms. Caramel covers her mouth in shock as I ask her what’s wrong. She says she is in so much trouble and tells me Elube better not find out she was with me. I am finding it hard to follow why this would matter, am a broken up guy and she is a broken up girl. Then she points out that the reason she is broken up is because, about three weeks ago she was at some guy’s house with her side guy, and eventually her boyfriend found out. She highlights this; she was at this house with her side guy, the other guy and his girlfriend. Who now it turns out is my ex-girlfriend. That is how they met, that is how she knows her.

I was like oh snap, how small is Blantyre indeed. Hit on a random girl I have never met before at a club on a random night, and she turns out to have a side guy that’s best friends with my girlfriend’s side guy. Wow.

To be continued… (See Part 2 next)

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Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.

SK Chirwa3reply
May 11, 2020 at 6:37 pm

Chirwa men of our generation need to gather our shit and have a very in depth conversation over some expensive alcohol…….. impatiently waiting for part 2

Talumba Chirwareply
May 12, 2020 at 3:14 pm
– In reply to: SK Chirwa3

Lol. If you say so…

Theodore Kawalalareply
May 12, 2020 at 7:11 am

Blantyre really is too small…lol that’s honestly why everyone knows everyone and keeps it on the low. Waiting for part 2, this was a great read TC💯💯

Talumba Chirwareply
May 12, 2020 at 3:14 pm
– In reply to: Theodore Kawalala

Thank you. Much love.

Katlego Chisambiroreply
May 20, 2020 at 5:41 am

Nice read

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